good thing: adding something new to my ever-resolution list
cost: actually sitting down and writing something new/Time + Effort*
So I've been working on a list of New Year's resolutions even though I now realize that resolutions and goals are two different things, and one list is waaaay longer than the other. Who doesn't have a ton of things they want to change/improve/strengthen/demolish about themselves?
So (one of my resoltuions should be to stop starting paragraphs with 'So') I decided to make a list of concrete, quantifiable objectives and have those be my 2010 goals. And then to have a more fluid and ever-present list of resolutions that I look at and add to and think about more often in an attempt to keep them in the front of my mind so I can remember them while
I'm doing something I shouldn't be instead of waiting till after I've done it and am ashamed.
I have a very long, very detailed list that I will be adding to a lot, no doubt, but this is one I just thought of and for seriously need to remember more and better:
Start earlier. Whatever it is you (and by you I of course mean I as I am talking to myself, but since I'm talking to myself I think it's probably okay to address myself in the second person) (you is the second person, right?) (also I'm going to start over right now)
Start earlier. Whatever it is you have to do, do it NOWFIRSTRIGHTAWAYSTOPSTALLINGNOMOREINTER
NETDOITNOW. Usually it's writing and I know it's hard and scary and you can't imagine how you're going to think of something that isn't terrible but guess what: this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. You are scared of failure but when you do force yourself to do it, it's not terrible. Sometimes it's even pretty good, occasionally it's great, and less often it is
terrible–but not irredeemable. Try to remember that you go through this every single time, and you are so glad (and surprised, which is silly) when you do dive in and do it and find out you can
, and so pissed when you don't. Like, super-disgusted, have-to-pray-a-lot-to-feel-like-a-human-a
gain pissed. STOP IT. Just do it when you plan on doing it and stop distracting yourself because you are scared. Fear is the original sin**.
*Good things cost–anything worth having is going to cost you something, and my super unscientific breakdown of how they cost goes like this: either time or money or effort. Time-obvious. Money–obviouser. Effort–energy or heart. You either do something or you just care. You pray, you write a letter, you listen. And obviously lots of good things cost more than one thing. Brushing your teeth costs effort (energy) AND money. Getting used to a mix cd your friend made you takes Effort (heart; caring, forcing yourself to LISTEN TO SOMETHING NEW ALREADY) AND Time. Learning how to rollerskate costs all three (and is SO worth it).
(sub*: I realize that any Effort also costs Time; that you can't expend any kind of Energy without also expending Time. But Time can also be actual waiting, letting alone, stopping activity–and so I will leave it as its own category, and accept that Time is a factor in every Effort label and also accept that my super unscientific breakdown may be flawed.)
**from The Blue Castle
, by L.M. Montgomery.
p.s. I'm not afraid to say I have been thinking a lot about goals due largely to this post